Beat up your wife, get four years til life

A little over a month has passed since I last decided to update this thing......lets see whats new shall we?

Its almost the end of July and its finally started to get hot here in Portland. As I'm writing this it's 100+ degrees outside and any sort of physical activity sounds like a god awful idea.

I went back to Minneapolis at the end of June for a close friends wedding and it was awesome to say the least. I got to see a ton of people who I hadn't seen or talked to in a long while and it was nice to hear that everyone is doing well and in good health. Congrats Katie and thanks to Gordon and Emma for putting me up. I also rediscovered why I left in the first place. Minneapolis is chill, but not chill enough. Everyone there thinks that the city is so bike friendly, yet I hardly saw anyone on a bike........fucking delusional Midwesterners.

I finally quit my internships after a year...........long overdue......don't know how i feel about that.........but i do know that never in a million years do i want to work for free again.

I also sacked up and bought shoes & clipless pedals for my bike. Long story short: best decision ever! Its quite the amazing feeling to be one with your machine. Highly recommended.

Speaking of bikes, Contador wins the Tour(no surprise).......he's an amazing cyclist but also a douche. I hope Andy Schleck beats his ass next year.

I started making beats again, I forgot much how fun it is to chop up drums. Maybe, just maybe, I'll post the stuff I'm working on.

Music I'm currently Jockin':
Helmet - Aftertase, Betty
KRS-ONE - Any cut by DJ Premier
Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Frozen Corpses Stuffed with Dope
Zapp - I
Ghostface - Ironman

P.S. Hoyt Arboretum is pretty dope.

Almost a month

I read somewhere that the blogging phenomenon is starting to tail off. Something like 70% of everyone who 'blogs' stops after a month. On that same note, something like 70% of the people who visit blogs go to the same 1,000 blogs out there. Interesting no?

I'm gonna murder someone if I can't make my current situation work, thus forcing me to be a complete pussy and go to law school. Fuck the music industry. Why can't people pay a reasonable amount for somewhat decent music to help keep good people working?

I got a gig playing the 'official' afterparty for the PJ Harvey show this coming Wednesday. Can't say i'm a big fan of her music, but i can say that her music doesn't suck either. Hopefully a ton of people will be there cause i wanna make some scrill and get some deace exposure. Hope people like Gil Scott Heron and Ice Cube.

New records i'm currently jockin':
Clark - Totems Flare
Lee Fields & The Expressions - My World
Tortoise - Beacons of Ancestorship
SUNN - Monoliths and Dimensions
Warp's 20th Anniversary Box - I will order this tomorrow

Thing i'm not jockin' at all:
Pretty Lights
Hippies
Music that Hippies like including Pretty Lights and anyone associated with him(them).

I need to bail on the country for a bit

I'm going to Japan for a month. In three weeks time I will have enough to buy a ticket. I plan to leave the end of January:) I worry too much about useless stuff i.e. finding a 'career' or 'saving money.' All that shit will fall into place when the time comes. I haven't left Oregon in almost 5 years. I gotta get out before I shoot someone in the face.

Interesting restaurant antidote #2: Asian women between the ages 21-27 usually tend to dress provocatively, in a funny way and the Asian dudes that roll in with them look even funnier. Also, Middle Eastern men tend to travel in packs, but never seem to have women with them. Any thoughts? I sure do.

I'm jocking the White Stripes these days (Elephant, Get Behind Me Satan), Sabbath(Paranoid, Master of Reality) and Tortoise's new record which doesn't come out for another month and a half.

Icy Pink Or Pink Marble?

I bought BORIS's 2005 ablum 'PINK' today at Jackpot for $30 USD. Having been foiled by the Night Owl show on Saturday, I was on a quest to to buy a nice record. I went to every record store in town and was forced to choose between three excellent titles. In the end Japanese metal prevailed. I can take some solace in knowing that I am one of only 8,500 people in the world to own a copy and one of 2,000 to own it in marble pink:)

Can I have a sword? No, you'll get a giant dick and balls instead.

I'm gonna start using this thing as an avenue where I can spew hate from my experiences working at a restaurant.

Entry 1: I really don't like kids ages 3-18. They're good for nothing. Can't drink, can't smoke, don't tip well, they're illegal to touch, plus the little runts always ask for something special when they want their food to be wrapped. "Mommy, can I please have a sword?" or "CAN I HAVE A RABBIT WITH BIG TEETH AND EARS!" It's beyond me as to how these people can't understand that I've got 30 tables to deal with and a arm-full of plates when I come around to pick their stuff up but yet they still ask to have their one bite's worth of pasta wrapped up in foil. I would love nothing more then to see the look on some parents or teeny bopping girls faces' when I bring their child a giant, crooked dick with balls. A perfect entry into learning about the birds and the bees:)

Moving along......


I'm starting to like hip hop again. Madlib. Dudley Perkins. Madlib & Dudley Perkins. Dead Prez. Trick Daddy. The problem is is that no new hip hop is any good. All this beat shit coming out of L.A. It's good and all. But not quite what i'm looking for. All producin' and no rappin'. It's gotta be all yin and yang or whatever.

New record reviews in less then 2 sentences or less:

Mastodon - Crack The Skye: Killer. Still high on the awesomeness scale but not as good as their prior two records. It's kinda cool that the album is based on the drummers sister who committed suicide.

Savath Y Savalas - La Llama: Never the group I want them to be. Better then Golden Pollen. Scott Heren loves repin' the fact that he's from Barcalona.

Phish - The Clifford Ball: Deace.

(mf)DOOM - Born like this: 2/9 members of Wu-Tang are on the alubm and nither have the word "ZA" in their name. More of the same.

It's the money

Today I cried.

I love DJ Shadow.

It's a fact.

Entroducing.......changed the way I listen to music. I bought the CD when I was a junior in high school and have since owed it on vinyl as well as the 10 year anniversary deluxe version. The album doesn't need any more praise then its already got. Either you know it or you don't. Unfortunately, the majority of his output since 96' hasn't come anywhere close on the awesomeness scale sans a few mix tapes and his recent box set of his early material(which doesn't count since it was all recorded before 95').......whatever.

I was flipping around the Internet the other checking for SXSW reviews when I came across a disappointing tidbit of information. DJ Shadow is now going to be the face of the Activision's new Guitar Hero spin off "DJ Hero." WTF!!! I couldn't tell you how the game is going to be played or what songs are going to be featured but I tell you to keep your eyes peeled for the game's release sometime in June.

I gotta admit, I'm at a loss for words. In all honesty, I shouldn't really care about this at all. The music business is rough, everybody is taking a hit. You gotta start thinking outside the box(or in the box), and I guess that's what he's doing. Something about this screams sellout though and that's the disappointing part. It's a sad day when you see one of your favorite artists cross the line and start working with the man. To his credit, Shadow has incredible foresight, he was right when he told people why Hip Hop sucked in 96', the same reason holds true today.

On a more positive note, anyone interested in the future of musical instruments should check out a recently published article at Wired.com highlighting the first annual Guthman Musical Instrument Competition held at Georgia Tech University.....pertty cool stuff.

http://www.wired.com/gadgets/mods/multimedia/2009/03/gallery_instruments

p.s. Phish @ the Clifford Ball = amazing

Ok Ok Ok.

Let's see what is new.

1) Phish played their first shows in just about 5 years last weekend. I don't really know what to say. They ruled my life for a long period of time, I should be excited, but I couldn't care any less. Listening to the tapes that the band gave away for free(pretty cool move) made me feel nostalgic at best. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do believe they ran through pretty much every song they usually play live over the weekend, kinda cool actually. Hearing the band fumble their way though tunes that they once could pull off with surgical precision at the drop of a dime made me want to vomit. That band meant so much to me at one point in time. They were, for almost a decade, a phenomenal group. Then things changed. They stopped caring. And thus I stopped caring. Something happened to Trey, most likely drugs, and he forgot how to play guitar. After that, the songs just sounded empty. No vigor, no zest, no aggressiveness. It was almost like they were, and still are, just going through the motions. And the worst part? People eat their shit right up. I could say a lot more but it's not my place to judge how and why people dig music.

2) I'm making an honest attempt at learning Ableton live 7. I've got a 27 part tutorial that I'm slowly working though just in case I need the help. I've got a fascination with software. There is no real reason why I should learn another DAW. I've got an MPC, I use Logic, but something about Ableton's look and concept just seems appealing. Getting used to thinking in Clips or Scenes is going to take some time but I can now understand why so many people use it in a live setting, hence its name. The program really makes things easy, almost like cheating. You could pull off a perfect mix tape without even thinking, no headphones required, just pick the right songs and you've got a finished product.

3) My skis are almost 10 years old. Salomon TenEighty's that Shidey sold me awhile back to be exact. They get the job done in every condition but struggle slightly with crud and deep pow. I've been looking to get a new pair for some time but never know what buy. The other day I was at Meadows on a lift when it dawned on me......Telemarking. It's the obvious choice for someone looking to get more out of the downhill experience. It just looks so satisfying........and bad ass. Perhaps the most versatile method of getting down any slope. Plus it just looks fun. I don't really know much about the discipline but I'd like to learn. Any one out there have any advice or experience?

P.S. Mind the grammar mistakes, horrible sentence structure and unfinished thoughts. I'm too lazy to proofread:)

I GET TO FLY DOWN A MOUNTAIN WITH STICKS ON MY FEET!!!!!!!

Over 50 inches of new snow in the past four days at Mt Hood. I haven't been skiing all year. This is long overdue. WoooooHoooooo.

........


Portland is fucked up. But good fucked up. Everyday I meet new people that confirm the fact that Portland is fucked up. But good fucked up.

.......

I haven't really made a solid attempt to listen to dubstep. Burial is great. Most things i've heard from Skream are pretty good. DJ Rupture is enjoyable. But those dudes represent the end of the line. I'd like to expand my knowledge further. Only reason I say this is that the dubstep scene here is really starting to pick up and I should at least make some effort to try and immerse myself a bit. Got any suggestions?

...

Gotta go ski.

Yikes

So I installed a hit counter the other day. I was curious to see if anyone was lame enough to read the bullshit off the top of my head. After two weeks of 'hit counting' my suspicion proved correct: my gospel's and astute theories on the meaning of life were falling on deft ears. Then a geriatric friend of mine posted a note about my page on a popular social networking site. Low and behold! A giant spike in page hits! Thanks little buddy! Your the best! You still owe me 80 bucks but i'll grant you some leeway for giving me a boost by not crushing your skull between my massive bicep and forearm.

Lets see whats new in the world of music: The Woodstock Festival happened 40 years ago this August. Can you believe that? 40 years ago. Now, Michael Lang, the promoter of the original Woodstock Festival is thinking about doing it all over again to commemorate the occasion. This time around he wants to plan festivals in two locations, here in the U.S. and one in Berlin Germany. Is this a good idea? Considering the last two attempts at recreating the 69' fest ended in corporate bullshit, rape and utter and complete destruction of anything in sight, I'd say this is a great idea. Is it going to work? It shouldn't, shame on Michael Lang for trying to do this in the first place. The original Woodstock served a purpose and was the pinnacle for a generation. I find it unfortunate when people's sole motivation for doing something is in search of a profit.

Moving along....

I'm the proud owner of a limited edition vinyl copy of Boris's live collaboration with noise legend Merzbow "Rock Dream." Yes, I know, you're so jealous. You should be though. 3800 were released on Southern Lord. 1000 in black, 1000 in red, 1000 in purple, and 800 in marble orange. This goes on record(no pun intended) for this 2nd most expensive LP i've purchased. It's funny, I was always the thrifty record buyer, passing up copies of dope shit becuase I knew if I kept on looking, one day i'd find it for cheaper. I've taken a different approach as of late. Maybe I shouldn't go digging when i'm stoned anymore.

I hate Kelsi Beck.

Feel the pain of my figure four bitch!

I was at work last night and there was a giant party of wannabe hot shit 35+'s seated in my section. You know the type. Dudes and dudettes who think they have money with zero class, zero style, and think they own any place they go into. Plus, they're visibly drunk. Long story short, they make a huge mess and make my life a living hell for the next hour. I gotta admit, I take some satisfaction watching these losers feed like pigs at the troff; neglecting knife and fork in lue of their pie hole and dirty mitts. Its pretty disgusting. I would love nothing more then to show the women in these groups video's of themselves mowing that shit down. I'm laughing so hard just typing this shit. Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Anyways.......this incredibly nice pair of women who had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting next to these low rent motherfuckers took notice of the abuse that I was taking and slipped me a few bucks for having to put up with their shit. I have renewed faith that there are actually kind people in this world and if I had the power to comp your whole meal I totally would have.

Moving along.........

I tried to put Lindsay in the figure four leg lock the other day, reminiscent from my days as an avid wresting enthusiast. Needless to say she resisted and kicked me in the face so hard that my glasses went flying across the room. This is Armani we're talking about now. Lesson learned.

On a more musical note(no pun intended): Mixing dance music is way easier then mixing hip hop. Just gonna throw that out there.

I'm still on a metal kick for anyone who cares. I've been listening to The Sword recently and they are a great band. Nice throw back sound with a modern twist. They're from Austin and they rock. Their new record is called God of the Earth and its heavy as shit. Cool name for a band too. Also if anyone out there is into psych-rock, Acid Mothers Temple are a killer band from Japan who have been around since the early 90's who really know how to make the most out of space and feedback. Most of their tunes are super long and fucked up. No real song form in most of their meterial. Lots of noise and distortion. They're coming to Portland in April......any takers?

p.s. mind the bad grammar and lack of proof reading:)

I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!

Life lesson #1 learned today: Usually, most things in life aren't as bad as they appear to be.

Life lesson #2 learned today: Ask, and maybe, just maybe, you shall receive.

Moving along....

The new Foreign Exchange record is pretty done. No rappin, just Phonte's croon and slick beats from Nicolay. Great listen from start to finish. Check it.

Eugene's got the best of me!!!

This past Sunday was the Eugene Record Convention.

I remember the first time I went 3 or 4 years ago. I was like a kid in a candy store. So much awesome music under one roof. I forgot how many of and what exactly I bought that day but i'm pretty sure it was great. Actually in hindsight I'm pretty sure it sucked(not the convention, my record choices).

This time around I drove down from Portland with my good buddy Bill at 10:00 a.m. having got just 3 hours of sleep the night before.

Now anyone who knows anything about record conventions knows that you have to get there early or else all the worth while shit is gonna get swooped. The convention started at 10 + we got on the road at 10:30 after a surprisingly satisfying breakfast at McDonald's = I miss out on all the good stuff. After 3 hours of dusty fingers I come up pretty much empty handed; 5 bargain records that were hardly anything to write home about. All is not lost though, leave it to the last bin of the day to finally pull a winner. A 1971, 2nd pressing copy of Black Sabbath's Master of Reality with original poster in perfect condition. $$ Tag = 30 USD, making it the most expensive record that i've ever bought.................kinda sad but totally worth it:)

I started writing this because my MPC was taking forever to transfer sounds from my computer.....now that its finally done, i'm done!

What have we learned?

1) McDonald's Sausage Egg and Cheese Mcgridle is actually ok. Their coffee on the other hand is not as good as Starbucks as a untold magazine once led me to believe.
2) Quality is always better then quantity.
3) Bill is never to be trusted with money. If your reading this, i'm gonna break your right knee cap if i don't if i don't get dat money by the end of the week:) I love you!

Eat some pie Anna Mae!

Sharon Jones is pretty cool.

The Dap Kings are pretty cool.

The Dap Tone record label is pretty cool.

I had the excellent pleasure of seeing Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings tonight. They were great. That makes a perfect 5 for 5 for legit shows I've seen since arriving in Portland.

She's like a cross between James Brown and Tina Turner, plus her band rocks. Totally worth the price of admission.

Some dude behind me said to his lady friend: "that's like James Brown or some shit" and his lady friend said " Yeah......but like.......that's a girl though."

Not Funny? Maybe you had to be there. But I laughed.

Soul and funk music appears to have some sort of revival going on. I think it's great. Check out any of the stuff off of DapTone. Even Stones Throw could turn you on to some cool stuff.

I'm a little drunk. I'm gonna go burn and play Halo.

GOD HATES US ALL!!!

I have to admit.  I've never given Slayer a fair chance.  I always wrote them off as too heavy or too angry or that the people who listen to them are just plain fucked in the head.  After listening to "God Hates Us All" at the Montage last week I must confess, I actually found myself enjoying the music.  Maybe it was the time of night/morning or my current state but something about the destructive chaos was appealing.  The drums pummel, the guitars crunch, the solo's reek of whammy bar and Tom Araya's voice, especially when he screams is exactly what I picture the overall tone of Hell to be like.  I still think the people who are into Slayer are mostly fucked in the head, but at least I've got a handle on "their" music. Pretty cool stuff.  Check "Reign In Blood" or "God Hates Us All" if your feeling adventurous.

p.s. God Hates Us All was released on 9/11/2001...weird 

Strip Club

Damn that Jaylib song is fucking great. Nice work Jaco Pastorius. I like to dance, but I'm not a good dancer by any means but that song makes me wanna dance like they do in those shitty videos on BET late night:)

Inspiration comes in various forms........like other DJ's

In my head....or something

I wish I could play an instrument good enough to be in a band.

Then I could have week long sleep overs with all my other "band" friends where we would get messed up and record a bunch of awesome tunes kinda like Josh Homme does with his friends who are way more talented and famous then my friends(thus far that is).

If anyone has any interested in QOTSA or Kyuss or half-assed rock & roll for that matter, I highly recommend checking out Desert Sessions vol. 1-10. They are all respectively great, each taking on a different personality depending on who's kickin' it at that given time. Their newest installment, vol. 9 & 10, (is?, are?) killer and I'm pretty sure I've heard "In My Head....or Something" as background music to some MTV show at one point or another.

Moving along.....

I beat Fallout 3 in just under 40 hours......best game ever. Hands down. The people at Bethesda Software are geniuses and if I could give you all high-fives I totally would.

Moving further along........ ..... ........... .. .... ........ . . . . . I want things. Lots of things. A new bike, new skis. Well I guess that's it. But still. That's like almost 2000$ of shit that I can't afford. I fucking hate money, saving money, and all that financial woe bullshit. Wait, I'm getting too emo, i gotta stop.